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How to Become a Legal Citizen of the United States? Spoiler Alert: It Involves A Baby.



Become a Legal Citizen in U.S.

Many people think citizenship is a complicated process. They’re wrong.

See above.

Becoming a legal citizen of the greatest country in the world is easier than it has ever been. Well, not actually. It’s the same. Because getting into America has always required one thing, and just one thing: getting knocked TF up.

For many immigrants to the United States, this feels like fighting a demon with your bare hands and not getting anywhere. It’s stressful, and that stress is enough to make even the highschool valedictorian start smoking crack. But, if you can make it through this stressful process, your rewards will be much better than you can even imagine. You’ll get privileges like voting, international travel, and being free without feeling like a dirty little crack boy (or girl, for you ladies).

Besides, obtaining other stress-free benefits like buying weed from your trusted local dealer or going to the gas station to buy some cold cans of good old American beer, you will no longer have to fear police pulling you over in your 1990’s Oldsmobile to say, “You’re deported, you dirty illegal alien.

I mean, who wants that? Well, unfortunately, this happens to many immigrants every year. How many? God, you’re so nosey. To be exact (your majesty), about 250k of them a year. And I know what you’re thinking: yes it sucks, and this is a situation you’d never wish on your worst enemy. In a situation like this, it can be easy to feel your internal system is literally about to shut down. My cousin, Aldo, described it like this:

“Imagine you were in love with a girl for more than 30 years. You’ve shared every moment with each other and unconditionally loved one another. Then, one happy morning, you go out to Publix to buy some eggs and sausage to cook your anniversary breakfast. You’re only gone twenty minutes, but you step back into the house and you find your wife straddling some nasty-assed bush wookiee on the bed you just left.”

This is the same feeling you would get, and that many others get, on a daily basis when being deported. It doesn’t feel nice. You may even feel just a little betrayed.

To avoid a situation like this, you need a safer, better, more interesting and more effective route. This is why you need to follow this master guide and turn your illegal alien self into a legal alien.

Before we throw some gravy on this biscuit, let’s get educated on the process of becoming legal in this great land of opportunity. This process is known as citizenship through naturalization, and this is how it works.

Take Christianity as an example: in order for someone to become Christian, they have to go through a ritual known as baptism. A church official prays for the person, explains their new life as a Christian and the rules that come with that, and then anoints them with holy water.

Basically to become a citizen of the United States is kind of the same as a baptism only you won’t be dipping your head into any holy water. There are other rituals you’ll take part in, instead, to meet the criteria, such as completing an application, attending an interview, and passing an English and civics test.

Upon the successful completion of these ritual steps, you, the applicant, takes an oath of allegiance and, if you don’t shit the bed, becomes a citizen.

So, now that you know how the ‘becoming a citizen’ process works, we can take a closer look at some of the early steps to getting started:

The Tools You Will Need to Get Started!

  1. Ability to speak English — (If you happen to not speak English, do yourself a favor and download Duolingo. You can learn English pretty fast. My 2nd cousin, Ronaldo, learned English just in 8 hours and he still took a lunch break to spark up a doobie. Shiiiitt… I wish I had that when I was first learning the language, I was reading purchase receipts).
  2. Basic Social Skills — (Yeah you don’t need to get a master’s degree in college to acquire this skill. You can just Google it, or watch some TED Talk videos on YouTube. It’s all for FREE).
  3. Decent Smart Phone — (The next tool you will need will require you to have a decent phone that’s not dumb. It needs to be compatible with Apps in the digital market. If you don’t have one because you don’t have enough money, you can order one from China for under $100. And please don’t go selling any Drugs or throwing yourself on the stripper pole to make money. It’s not classy. But, hey, God gave us the freedom of will, so whatever floats your boat, man).
  4. Download Bumble — (If you made it this far, congratulations! Bumble is a location-based dating application that lets you meet a lot of horny locals. Please don’t confuse this with porn, this is a professional App. And you will not find people doing weird stuff like The Cleveland steamer. Hunghh… DISGUSTING. The idea behind Bumble is to meet your opposite sex and formulate a bond. Some people go there to hook up for the night while some are looking for a relationship, but deep down every human wants to be loved, so that is what you will be giving away).
  5. Actually Go on The Date — (After you have matched with a few girls and you have had a good conversation for a few days in a row, you’re gonna have to step out of your turtle shell, AKA the comfort zone, and actually ask that girl out on the date. Chances are she will say YES. 98% of girls don’t reject the guys they have engaged in conversation with more than a few times).
  6. Plant The Seed — (The next step is for you to actually get to know the person and see if you like them. If you don’t, no biggie. Get your Bumble out and repeat step 5, player. Do this until one of them meets your vision. Once you have built a rapport, and you like your partner and they like you, it’s time to plant the seed. Literally. If you are a dude, plant it. If you are a girl, let the dude plant it. One of you is going to be doing some gardening, that’s what I’m trying to say.

    Once there is a kid, the relationship will get stronger (this is a fact) and continue to advance. One day, it will lead to the most amazing moment anyone could ask for: marriage).

Now you may be getting your information from anywhere. Online forums. Communities. Blogs and news articles. But, once you find the man or woman of your American dreams, marriage will unite you and grant you the opportunity to be part of God’s Country.

Now, just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it’s easy. Don’t be a wild animal and think you can just marry Mr. United States overnight. You can’t acquire that badge of honor automatically with just a marriage certificate. And don’t believe your buddy, George, who told you that you could just do it because he read about someone doing it in rural Alabama in the 60s. George is a liar. George doesn’t care about your dreams. Those sounds you hear at night are coming from under George’s house, and they sound human.

By marrying someone (for love) who happens to be a U.S. citizen (a citizen of love), you’ll expedite your own path to love citizenship. And regular citizenship. But the illegal alien will still need to wait several months to actually receive the great gift of all holy blessings: ‘a green card’. And, even then, it may take several years to actually become eligible to apply for citizenship.

Nothing that lasts comes easy, pal. If you aren’t dedicated to successfully following the rules and steps, however, you will end up with your balls in your hands, which is right back where you started. You hold your balls, too much, man. This is out of control. We don’t want to discuss it. Just…ew! Fix your shit.

But I digress (digross). To put it simply, the process goes a little something like this:

  • Start By Being Eligible — (You can’t run a race if you’ve got no feet. Make sure you meet the requirements for citizenship before you start the next steps. If you don’t, stop reading blogs, put your pants back on, and go make a plan). We’ll be here when you get back, numbnuts.
  • Apply For Naturalization — (By now, you hopefully meet the minimum eligibility requirements for being a citizen, but you’re still going to need to apply for naturalization itself, you lazy bastard. Remember the baptism process we talked about earlier? This is that!) 
  • Interview and take the citizenship test — (During your interview with an immigration official, you will be asked to take the citizenship test. Basically, the test is not too hard. I know 6th graders who can answer these questions, so you should be fine. What? Why do I know so many 6th graders? I have a lot of nieces and nephews, and those kids are dumb as rocks, so you’ll be fine.

    Here, you will be asked about your citizenship application, marriage, and background. If your interview happens to go well, you will move onto the next step, where you will take an English and civics test).
  • Swear allegiance — (In the final step, you’ll take an Oath of Allegiance to the United States. I have nothing funny to say about this. It’s a serious business. Also, if you can’t get that right, Uncle Sam drops out of the sky and kicks your ass in front of all your friends, so study up!)

Now that we’ve gotten the hard part out of the way, let’s jump right into the smelly butt crack that is connecting all of these pieces. At this point I am assuming you have the ability to speak English, you have acquired the basic social skills, purchased the Chinese smartphone, and gotten everything ready to move on to the next step: downloading the App that makes the magic happen.

How to Download Bumble?

  1. Go to Android’s Marketplace or Apple’s App Store.
  2. Type “Bumble” in the search bar.
  3. Click Download

View the screenshot guidance below:

Bumble App IOS
Screenshot showing bumble in the App store.
Download App Bumble
Screenshot showing Bumble downloaded!

After you have successfully downloaded the app, we’re going to have to get one thing straight. Before we dip our noodle into the complex and beautiful world of online dating, remember one thing: swiping left and right is not dating. Matching with someone is not dating, and chatting them is in no way dating. Clear on that, sparky? Good! Dating is the only thing that counts as dating, and matching with a dozen people and hitting up their inboxes doesn’t translate into dating. You can have a great time flirting around and meeting new people but you’re not really doing what you want to do, which is to meet people in person and jump into the world of relationships with both feet.

You need to nut up or shut up. This is a trick every dating App plays on its users. You’ll quickly meet people, chat with them, share stories, and feel like “Yeah! This is going well!” But, when it comes to actually meeting that person in person, it’s never as easy as just matching.

But just because something is hard, doesn’t mean you should sit back and not face it. The only person who gets to not face things is someone without a face, and I can see yours right through this blog post I’m writing.

And the good news is it can be done! In fact, tons of people get on Bumble and convert each other as dates every week. My fat uncle Alberto actually met his girlfriend on Bumble, and they got married in 2011. I mean, six months later, he found her making goat cheese in their hallway closet with something that wasn’t goat milk. They got divorced soon after that, uncle Alberto converted to Buddhism, and now he lives in the Himalayas with a group of rice-growing monks. He writes sometimes, but that’s not the point. The point is, Bumble is great and goat cheese is not to be trusted.

So let’s break down how to use Bumble to actually get dates that go somewhere. Here are a few powerful strategies:

Step 1: Set Up Your Profile Properly!

I know setting up a dating profile can seem about as painful as getting your teeth pulled without any anesthetic. Since your objective is to meet people who are actually interested in dating your stanky ass, though, it’s important.

Here’s what makes a great profile: good profile photos and a great Bumble bio. And, when I say a “great” bio, I mean “great“. This needs to sell you as the single greatest date anywhere in the world, capable of moving mountains and buying islands. Or at least paying for dinner. You want to demonstrate value to people who may be interested in actually dating you.

This increases your chances of conversion! Moreover, it’s just a great way to seal the deal!

Bumble Profile
Connect through your Facebook account or sign up through E-mail.

Once you are inside, update your profile information immediately. Don’t waste time building up to it, just wade in and start filling out everything you can.

Bumble App
Just hit the “get started” and fill out all the necessary information to complete your profile.

The following are a few great examples of the type of profile photos you should have so women don’t think you are some creepy weirdo.

This is Pancho. Don’t be fooled by his professional studio-level photos, however. They were all taken on a Samsung phone. (You’ll be surprised what kind of quality you can get out of these modern-day smart-phones).

Got some good photos of yourself? Good, I thought you’d take all day. And remember: if you aren’t happy with the way you look, online marketplaces like Fiverr and Yupe can make look better than any other supermodel in the world for as little as $5.

Now, your next key component is a halfway decent profile bio that says “Hi. Date me. I won’t steal all of your stuff and kick your dog while you’re asleep.” Believe me – people love their dogs. You want to make that clear, right away.

Take a look at what Pancho’s got cooking below:

Bumble Bio Example
Pancho’s Bumble biography.

Step 2: Swipe and match.

Like I mentioned earlier, swiping is the early part of this operation. Swipe right on those you think aren’t worthy of your magical sexy parts and left on those for whom you would eat your way to their heart and watch the damn magic manifest in reality.

Did I mention Bumble becomes literally a full-time job? Once you start getting a few matches, you’re inside the algorithm, Capitan Hook. You’re going to get tons and tons of new matches on an hourly basis. Your phone will be so busy with notifications, you’re going to need to hire an old saggy grandma with a wrinkly skin to help with qualifying all the leads coming your way.

Now, if you’re not getting a lot of matches, on the other hand, you’ve got to go on a swiping spree. Don’t be too picky with the people you match with either. Swipe until you can’t swipe no more, then swipe even more than that, you little swiper.


Step 3: Start a conversation.

You don’t have to be a heterosexual to spark up a conversation on Bumble. You’ve just got to grow some balls, keep your objective in mind to start one, and just go for it! This attitude will also benefit you on your way to success, once you’ve set up and started living the American dream.

Look online, and you’ll find so many blogs written about how to start a great Bumble opening line. But the real art of getting your match’s attention is to say something more than just “Hi” or “Hey”. Those are boring and will just set you up for failure.

Here is a list of great openers:

  • Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
  • Life without matching with you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.
  • We’re not socks. But I think we’d make a great pair.
  • If a fat man puts you in a bag tonight, don’t worry: I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
  • If I were a transplant surgeon, I’d give you my heart. As well as giving you my other organ
  • On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re a 9… And I’m the 1 you need.
  • Remember me?[[She will say ‘no’. Then reply]]: “Oh, that’s right. I’ve met you only in my dreams.
  • Wow, when God made you he was definitely showing off.
  • You sure your name is not Wi-fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection.
  • If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.
  • If you were a fruit you’d be a fineapple.
  • Did you swallow magnets? Cause you’re attractive.
  • Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?”
  • Do you believe in love at first swipe?

Snatch one of these bad boy pickup lines and inject it as your opening line. Do not compliment the person – everyone else does the same shit and you will be moved right into the pet zone, which is even worse than the friend zone and, believe me when I say this, you do not want to go there.

Also, do not be one of those formal jackasses. This is not a business conference, and you trying to slide inside and act formally makes people put up their shields. Don’t be asking some weird-ass questions, either, as that’s a red flag for creepy weirdos.

Here’s how one of my conversations went the last time I was out pimping on Bumble:

Me: You don’t know how many times I had to swipe left to find you!

Girl: That’s the sweetest thing I’ve heard someone say to me 😊

Me: Oh wow, your profile says your 69 miles away, Well that’s ironic…

Girl: OMG 😂 You’re funny!

Girl: What are you doing tonight?

Me: You 😉

Girl: Sounds like a plan to me!

Me: Does this mean we’re dating now? Give me a second, I need to change my Facebook relationship status.

Girl: Good cuz, I already changed mine.

Step 4: Establish a good back and forth.

Like you just saw in my previous message with some dirty Bumble skunk, Malissa, once you get a reply back from the person you just messaged, keep the conversation going. You can do this by flirting deeper and, as long as you have good profile photos of yourself, women won’t see you as some weird old man trying to get some young donuts.

And please don’t be that boring slob who asks ridiculous questions to try to keep the conversation active. Yeah, you know what I am talking about. Those questions you ask your 5th cousin on family parties, “Where are you from?” or “What do you do for fun?” And, the worst of all: “What do you do for a living?”

Yeah, you won’t be getting shit with lines like these. You will have better luck with those questions with a street skank in your hood town than someone you’re trying to convert from Bumble.

If you sparked up a convo and you see it’s starting to die down, keep in mind: the best Bumble conversations are when two people are chatting quickly. One idea moves to the next, and the next thing you know, you guys are kissing underneath the mistletoe. The more people you chat with, the more you will master the skill of engagement, so don’t be afraid: take the chance and go for it, little one.

Step 5: Ask for the date.

Here’s the greatest tip you’ll ever get: humans love comfort. If you want to get anything worthwhile done, though, you have to forget the comfort. That’s not how your mother brought you into this world. No sir, she was feeling uncomfortable the whole time, pushing that big head of yours out of her ‘vagine’. But, in order for her to pop you out, she had to step out of the comfort zone and do what was not comfortable.

Basically, this is what it takes to move on to the next step. Chatting with a girl and holding up a great conversation is good and all but, after all, if you don’t ask them out, you’re pretty much asking for the ‘pet zone’ treatment.

There are a million different ways you can ask someone out on Bumble. If you don’t know how, why don’t you check out my conversation with this chick, Natalie.

[And, yeah: she was one hot Bumblebae]

Me: I’ve had a crush on you for the last hour.

Natalie: Oh wow: you putting me pretty up there on the scale huh?

Me: What can I say, I normally go for 8s but I guess I’ll settle for a 10 😀

Natalie: Sounds like you’re settling up to me.

Me: That’s not the only thing that’s up.

Natalie: Big talk from behind a keyboard.

Me: You’ll have to let me show you in person. Say, next Thursday?

Natalie: What do you wanna do?

Me: Besides “Natalie”? We could start with drinks at Ocean Pub.

Natalie: I love Ocean Pub. You’ve got yourself a date, sir!

As you can see, what gets the job done is simplicity. That’s right, this is something they just don’t teach in society, nowadays, but it’s all it takes to seal the deal.

Now, if they just aren’t interested in you, don’t go hitting up your depressed friends to get drunk or go to the strip club to spend your evening hanging out with weird sluts and crackheads. Be a smart human being and learn to move on.

It’s not a big deal. Repeat after me: “Thanks for the good convo.” Then move the F* on to the next person. You’ve still got quite the list to get through. Now, if every single one of them rejects you, we’ve got a problem. Well, you do.

At this point, you have everything necessary to justify giving up and just going with the same sex. It’s clearly meant to be. (JK. Keep swiping ’til one of them goes through your sales funnel. Eventually, you will succeed if you persist).

Now, for the things you never do. And, when I say this, open your damn ears and listen to me like you mean it: Do not keep chatting with someone off and on for weeks and weeks. You will never get the chance to make that person your next date. She will forget about you and your intentions of love with her and her interests will disappear entirely. She’ll move on to someone else who is not setting themselves up as her personal dog.

If you think you had a pretty good convo with her, take action and ask them out. If it doesn’t work, it probably wasn’t as good of a convo as you thought.

Step 6: Nail down the logistics.

If your mom didn’t teach you this I will: at the end of the day, you are asking someone out on a date via an app. It is best to make plans for the week you’re currently in. Don’t wait like a year when you have plenty of great momentum with this person right now.

So be a good damn leader (and, no, Hilter is a terrible example), and plan something like grabbing a simple drink as soon as possible. Do not take the damn person to a club, either, they’re going to think you are a slut or a true man whore. Go to the bar for one or two softies, or coffee. For this last one, I do not recommend Dunkin’ Donuts. Terrible coffee that makes people shit on the floor. If your stomach is strong, wonderful. But you don’t know if your future partner’s stomach is strong enough to resist the force of a coffee flavored shit slide rushing out of them at 50 MPH. He or she might get schwifty, right there in the middle of the old DD and, trust me, you do not want that. Not even Rick Sanchez would recommend that.

So plan something that best fits in with your week’s schedule and roll with it. Since you are the one asking for the date, do not look like a loser and have your future partner pick where you guys go. You’re going to look like a dumb bag.

Have few ideas in mind or, if you’re brain-damaged (and there there are many of them around), ask your best friend ‘Siri’ or Android’s ‘Cortana’ to Google “What to do around + [your city]”. This will give you a list of local blogs to help you navigate what to do in your area. Show your leadership and don’t be a little b*tch.

Step 7: Keep it fresh.

Once you have both agreed on a spot for your magical time together, do not be a savage animal from the Amazon jungle and ghost the person. And do not be a little needy ass, texting and chatting with the person every day leading up to the date. Only text on the very last day before the date.

Step 8: Show up.

Okay, it’s the big day. Do or die time. Do not screw the pooch and infect me with ebola okay, you guys. I’ve worked so hard to get you here. This is the moment where you rise or completely put all my hard work and sweat down into a rat sewer. Believe me when I say, I’m not going to take shit from you on this – hell no. I will beat your ass with my grandma’s 72 years old World War II flipflops. I’ve learned many hard lessons from that goddamned flip flop — that thing wrapped this ass for most of my childhood.

Don’t puss out on the last day and not show up. This is the part where everything starts to make sense. It is important. Whatever you do, do not think of this as a super big deal because your ass is going to be sweating, and that’s never good. We need to keep things dry and under the control (especially your ass). Show up, hug the person hello, and get down to business. Tell that person how excited you are to meet them. How great they look. Don’t make stuff awkward. Stop it. I can see you making it awkward. Roll with the conversation and think of that person as if you’ve known them for a very long time. This will put out the energy you want that person to swallow.

Remember, kid: no matter how things go here, you have already tasted success by converting that person from the app. The fact that you guys are sitting together in a bar looking at each other — that’s the win.

Great job, buddy. You should be proud of yourself and no I am not sucking you off to build your confidence, put your dick back in your pants. I am telling you the truth. The truth no one wants to say is that Bumble is easy. Swiping, matching and chatting are all easy. But actually getting someone to come out on a date… well, that’s the hard part, isn’t it? It’s going to take some practice. The more you practice, the more experience you will get. The more experience you make for yourself, the more confident you will be on your next date.

And, if your date doesn’t work out, take your phone right back out and convert another one. You’ve got everything you need to do this over and over until one works for you. And, even if she wasn’t the right fit, you’ve already forgotten all about her dumb ass, right?


The next steps are all pretty simple. Get pregnant. Get married. Get documented. Get that American dream. It’s all laid out in the law and completely above board. The only people who seem to ever have a problem with it also seem like the kind of people not getting any sex to begin with, so don’t worry about their opinions.

As the New American Economy puts it: “[A large undocumented population] is a problem for society. It undermines law and order, permits a shadow economy that is harder to regulate, and is simply unfair to the millions of immigrants who have come here legally.”

What more American solution is there to this problem than to get legalized, come on over and start a family? Well? Don’t just stand there with your dick in your hands – to the Bumblecave!

Disclaimer: The information provided here is not intended to constitute legal advice. All information, content, and material on this site are for general informational purposes only. For immigration information, please consult with a real lawyer and not my dumb ass.

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How to Save Your Business During a Recession



How to Save Your Business During a Recession

How are you holding up?

I know, these are challenging times for all of us and I’m sure you get tons of emails talking about this ugly virus that’s going around the world COVID-19.

Many businesses are taking a huge hit by not having any customers, cutting down their employees and majority shutting their doors. This virus has eaten up some businesses and pooped them right back out.

Especially the ones that were not prepared for the recessional times.

I don’t want to go into statistics about how it will affect us locally or globally as you can look out your window or turn on the news for that (for good or bad).

I’m a very optimistic person when it comes to my life and it is sometimes hard to see the silver lining when we are in the middle of unprecedented, crazy times. 

But I want you to remember:

Things WILL get better.

This crisis situation won’t last forever.

Sure, things will slow down for a bit as we practice social distancing and isolation from the typical way we are used to living our lives. 

We all (well most) understand that, in the long run, it’s the best course of action to flatten the curve (I know you hate hearing these same words over and over but we need to do it). 

During this time of isolation, my plan is to help as many businesses as possible through my content. 

Step #1: We need to shift our perspective

As people stay at home, they are spending more time than ever online. 

Fact: My sites has seen a 15% increase (1,500 new visitors per day) day after day and it will only get better over the next few weeks and months.

It’s the right time to reach out to your audience on social media and show them your empathy as we are in this together.

To bring your community together, create relatable content that shows you care about your customers. 

Content that is centered around staying healthy and keeping mental well-being in-check can help you stay relevant. 

During this topsy-turvy time, consumers need reassurance and support from the brands that they love.

To weather this storm, you also need to be ready to pivot your business strategy. 

  • If your gym is shut down, why not give your customers an online workout class? 
  • If you run a coffee shop, can you shift to selling bags of ground coffee online instead of hot lattes?
  • If a seminar or an in-person event gets cancelled, is it possible to move it online?

It’s never been more important for businesses to go digital.

Step #2: Search Engine Optimization

As travel is restricted, spend more of your time/budget on writing content. And keep in mind that local SEO has become more necessary now than ever.

Fact: Most companies stop their marketing campaigns during hard times and will lose rankings and lose touch with their customers.  This is NOT a good move!

Being proactive by optimizing your site for SEO and writing content is crucial now to get to the top of Google while your competitors are stagnant.

If you don’t want to do the SEO work yourself, you can always hire SEO companies to do it for you while you sit back and oversee their work.

Go digital” — that should be your mantra for resilience.

Hang in there, we’re going to come out stronger.

Also Read: What Does Digital Marketing Agency Do?

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Top 10 Best Orlando SEO Companies



Orlando SEO

As more businesses are adapting to the fast-moving world of digital marketing, services like SEO have become popular with many companies, with some providers charging outrageous amounts of money for the service while others charge very little. Some of these don’t even do any work to deliver their “results”. 

You might ask, “How do I choose a good service?” How do you know who offers the best service? Especially in the Orlando area, we recommend researching the company you are trying to sign up with before you hand over your SEO work. Check what they have done. Get on a call with them and ask if they can show you case studies. Not just general studies but ones from your industry, specifically. 

Have they worked with a similar company? What have they done for them? How long did it take them to deliver ROI-measurable results? 

Dive deep and investigate everything about them. Question them and pay attention to what they say. Avoid the ones that try to get you into super long, hard-to-get-out-of contracts. Legit companies will show you what they have done and give you room to breathe and decide whether this is the right strategy for your business. 

Regardless, we have put together a list of 30 SEO companies currently operating from Orlando FL. Follow my tips and choose the most suitable agency for your SEO needs. 

1. Web Daytona 

Web Daytona is a digital marketing agency heavily focused on search engine optimization. This agency got started back in 2008, with headquarters based out of Daytona Beach FL and has expanded to Orlando, since, bringing their results-driven services to the Orlando SEO market. 

This company offers optimized options for their clients, giving them the opportunity to choose what suits them best. They do contract options, long-term, short-term, or no contracts at all. They do not pressure you into buying their services and they support all their claims with valuable case studies.

How do they proceed with a client? Give them a call, first. They will get a clear understanding of what you need before taking 48 hours to do their research, analyze your website and your competitors and create a custom plan of action, ready to be implemented. Analyze their proposal and, if the price is acceptable, move forward and let them take care of the rest. This agency sends you weekly progress reports so you are updated, every step of the way. 

2. SEO By You 

This agency has not been around for a very long time, but long enough to make a big impact within the SEO community. In just two years, these guys were able to rank over 100,000 keywords on the first page of Google and other major search engines. 

As you can see, just from the name, they specialize in search engine optimization. Their team is composed of on-and-off-page strategists and technical SEO professionals, the architects of their optimization. 

This company does not offer long or short term contracts. They are paid, as you go, but ask all their clients for at least 6 months of commitment before they see any major SEO results for their business. SEO By You has their own proprietary tools that allow them to do a deep investigation of your current strategy, your competitors’ strategies, and develop a plan to help you match your competition. From there, they’ll help you leverage these services, ultimately outranking your competition and securing first page search results. 

3. Reach Local Orlando 

This is an SEO-focused agency, operating out of Orlando FL. They help businesses build successful online presences through up-to-date SEO practices. This company helps you take control of your Internet presence, as well as ensuring that your customers find your business when they search for your products or services. 

They focus on generating leads through SEO, not just increasing a certain percentage of clicks. Their beautiful landing page can tell you a lot about what type of strategy they build for the businesses they work with. I’ve got to say, according to some online reviews they help you target and engage your local customers based on valuable data, deep insights and an integrated advertising approach. 


Originally based in Sri Lanka, WASHEEN SEO operates out of and brings their services to Orlando and the businesses therein. They are a digital marketing agency, but mostly focused on SEO. They have been involved with SEO since 2015 and have done quite well with ranking their clients. 

Since then, they have built over 800 websites with SEO strategy and generated over $30M+ in revenue for the clients who have hired them to carry out digital marketing and strategic SEO campaigns. 

This agency specializes in the following industries: 

  • Healthcare
  • Restaurants
  • Real estate
  • Dental
  • Software
  • Pool
  • Bail bonds 
  • Security camera systems

It does all of this, while servicing clients with high quality, on-time delivery and service. 

5. Get The Clicks 

This company began their journey back in 2002 as a web development company as The Outer Limit Studios. In 2009, they rebranded and evolved into a digital marketing agency and, two years later, the company became what it is today: Get The Clicks. 

Since then, the company began its journey into the digital marketing arena. This agency has helped over 1,100 businesses of all shapes and sizes throughout the United States, delivering high quality marketing services.

As part of their marketing service, they have hired professional SEO experts to handle their clients’ SEO needs. This company does not offer contracts and they have no hidden fees. They give you the full transparency you need as a business owner to feel comfortable while dealing with any third party agency. 

They have a simple approach to your SEO strategy. They evaluate where you are currently ranking. Then they figure out what your competitors are doing to out-rank you. They then build a strategic plan based on your competitors weaknesses and they execute it with full transparency in communication. 

6. Web Market Florida 

While this company has not been around for as long as other agencies, they have been around for about 5 years, providing web design and marketing services to their clients. They have completed over 1,000 web design and development projects and have launched over 500 marketing campaigns. Over 700 branding campaigns and 900 search engine optimization projects have been completed. 

This agency has been focusing on SEO and enhancing their strategies to help their clients thrive through search engine ranking. They have specialists with years of experience in the field who are up-to-date with all SEO trends and techniques, and are aware of search engine algorithm updates. This ensures they can keep all their clients’ SEO strategies fully furnished. 

7. Orlando SEO Group 

This agency has been serving Orlando since 2005 and has done some great work in the SEO field. They are an award winning digital service and have been accredited by the Orlando Business Journal from the results of all the local businesses they have helped. 

They have one goal in mind: to rank your website in the top three search results of the first page, as well as ranking your local business in the top three packs for the relevant keywords your potential customers are looking for to find businesses like yours. 

If your website is not mobile friendly, they can make it user friendly. If your website is not optimized, they can optimize it for you. These guys don’t back out from any challenge – they overcome them with knowledge and years of experience, creating different types of SEO campaigns. 

8. Orlando SEO World 

This company’s focus is on helping you improve your online visibility through search engine optimization strategies. Enhance your website performance and increase your ranks to generate more targeted traffic, increase your sales, and get better ROI on your marketing investment. 

Orlando SEO World was founded in Orlando FL and has an office operating from Winter Park, serving greater central Florida. They have been there since the early days of the Internet and have served thousands of businesses, since. 

They can truly help you put your company in front of your audience and gain a competitive advantage over your competition. They give you a free website analysis and free proposal to work with them. 

9. SEO CFL Expert 

This Orlando based SEO agency specializes in SEO across various industries. They help businesses strategically optimize their websites and their online presence. They create custom campaigns that help local businesses reach local targeted customers. 

They have a team of digital marketing experts that have in depth knowledge and experience in the SEO industry. It took them years to test and bring their professionals to the point where they are today. All their strategies will be geared towards your business to gain maximum exposure online and they only work with limited amounts of clients so they can ensure your company’s success is their priority. 

10. Marketingoose 

It is unknown exactly how long this SEO company has been serving the Orlando area but their website has been around for over three years. This company’s experts are fully focused on search engine optimization. 

This company clearly understands how search engines, rankings and algorithms work and are willing to do everything in their power to help businesses outrank their local competition. Their focus of SEO services are on-page optimization, off-page optimization, technical SEO and search engine marketing through pay-per-click advertisement. 


These are the top 10 Orlando SEO companies in operation right now. If you are looking to hire one, you have plenty to choose from, and the talent is all right there. I do recommend researching these companies yourself, analyzing their websites and seeing where they rank when you search for the following keywords in Google or other search engines: 

  • Orlando SEO 
  • Orlando SEO Services 
  • Orlando SEO Company 
  • Orlando SEO Agency 

If any of these companies do not show up on the first page or top three search results of Google, you might not want to work with them. An SEO company that claims they can rank you should not have a problem ranking themselves. At the end of the day, it is a case study they can show you to close the gap, gain your trust, and show that they are the right guys to work with.

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Top 10 Best Paving Companies In Daytona Beach FL.



Best Paving Companies In Daytona Beach

Here are the 10 best paving companies servicing Daytona Beach FL.

  1. Rockwell Construction Services
  2. P&S Paving
  3. Halifax Paving
  4. D & W Paving
  5. Duval Paving
  6. Pavemax
  7. E & H Paving
  8. M & S Asphalt Paving
  9. ACET Recycling
  10. The Alternative

Rockwell Construction Services

Rockwell Construction Services (RCS) is based out of Daytona Beach, Florida. Provides professional paving and construction services throughout the Volusia County area, they make quality workmanship their number one priority.

With a full-service approach to construction and paving, Rockwell has it all. The scope of their work includes:

  • Asphalt paving / Repair
  • Sealcoating
  • Sitework
  • Parking Lots
  • Driveways
  • Millings
  • Heavy construction projects

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P & S Paving

P&S Paving, Inc. has grown to the point where they work major highway construction and earthwork projects. They’re also at home onsite for small driveways and parking lots, producing large amounts every hour, in a cleaner, more efficient manner.

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Halifax Paving

Halifax Paving, Inc. has construction experience building roads, airports, and highways. Their portfolio is big enough to offer most services, from bike paths to highway work, subdivisions and apartment complexes.

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D & W Paving

D & W provides asphalt paving, patching and site work in central Florida’s Volusia, Flagler, St. Johns, Seminole and East Marion Counties. With GradingExcavating and FillingBase WorkAsphalt Paving, and Asphalt Patching in their portfolio, they’re one not to miss.

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Duval Paving

Duval Paving, LLC has been in operation since 2011. Paving new driveways and parking lots, repaving, and sealing commercial and residential properties is right there in their wheelhouse.

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PaveMax uses industry best practices and green technology to use in their projects. With a focus on meeting their customers’ needs, their work doesn’t suffer in spite of their relatively quick pace.

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E & H Paving

E & H Paving LLC brings more than 35 years of experience in the state of Florida to the table in their outstanding asphalt services. Look out for them in residential and commercial spaces.

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M & S Asphalt Paving

M&S Asphalt Paving is a full-service asphalt paving company offering quality services, driveway work, parking lots, roads, businesses, and commercial parking for a range of operations.

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ACET Recycling

ACET Recycling offers recycling services to site development projects across the state of Florida. Consider it a sort of one-stop-shop for site services of different types and sizes.

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The Alternative

The Alternative provides paving services in Daytona Beach FL.

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Pave The Way In 2020

For your paving and construction projects, the businesses listed in today’s article offer a range of great consultations and full service portfolios. Reach out to a few of them, make a connection with one, and happy paving!

For more great articles like this, make sure to check out some of our other blogs, as well!

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